I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
