Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
