If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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