and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
