we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
