yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
