I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
