Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
