Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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