Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
