so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
