you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
