Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
