I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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