I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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