Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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