Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No I am not eating basil off your cock
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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