Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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