brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
