I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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