Sry I called you an 8
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
