What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
