its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
