Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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