Having a random hookup so left but love u
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
