I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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