"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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