Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
