just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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