I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
