When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
