WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
