why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Come see our sink grown plant.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
