I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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