she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
