This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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