I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
