good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
