Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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