Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
