I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
