He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
