Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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