sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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