I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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