I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
