before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
