Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
