Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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