then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
