Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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