Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
