Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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