Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
