Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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