There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
