The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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